The Annual ‘Beta, Tum Kitne Mote Ho Gaye’ Top
It’s wedding period. The halls are flashing, the dholkis remain in full speed, and you– looking like the best version of yourself– have entered the function sensation confident. Attire on point. Hair spotless. You even put fragrance on your wrists like you’re in a television advertisement.
And afterwards … you see her.
Aunty Fatima.
The self-appointed Priest of National Health, equipped with unsolicited commentary and a laser eye for every single inch of body fat you’ve gotten since the last household event.
The Opening Assault
It begins similarly each time: she identifies you across the hall, narrows her eyes like a lion considering target, and strides over. Before you can also claim “Assalamualaikum,” it occurs:
“Beta, tum ne toh weight gain kar liya! Sab theek toh hai na?”
There’s no getaway. You’re surrounded by family members who all of a sudden look captivated by your response.
The Double Basic Buffet
Right here’s the irony: also as she discusses your “wellness,” she’s piling your plate high with biryani, korma, seekh kebabs, and at the very least three kinds of treat. Reject, and she’ll gasp like you’ve …